A letter to me

Dear Devon,

It’s 2013, you’re 22 and I know it feels like your whole life just crumbled around you. Matt and Mom are gone. The grief your feeling is constant, scary, and overwhelming. You don’t know if you’ll survive it or if you want to. I know you don’t want to get out of bed and I know you don’t want to even think about the future, but you have to. It feels like you’re alone, but you’re not. You have your family, your future in-laws (that’s right. you marry him. WOO!), your friends, and especially David. You don’t have to suffer in silence, those people love you and they want you to be happy. You may not want to talk about what you’re feeling, but you need to. Don’t hold it in and stop pretending to be so brave.

Right now you feel like everything is out of control. Your binge eating is at the worst it’s ever been and I know you can’t look in the mirror without being ashamed and angry. I know you think you’ll never be more than a victim. You don’t think you’re smart, beautiful, disciplined or destined to be happy. You think that what has happened and what you’ve done to yourself will just be what you are. I’m so happy to tell you it’s not.

You’re incredibly strong and you don’t even know it yet, but you’ll find out soon. One day you’ll realize that you can think about Mom and Matt and still be able to breath. One day after that you’ll realize that eating the way you are is self-harm and you don’t want to do it anymore. Then one day, you’ll wake up, go look in the mirror – and you’ll feel this feeling you’ve never felt before. Pride.

You’re going to start making choices that push you towards your goals. You’re going to stop putting yourself down and you’re going to learn new things about yourself every single day. You will pursue knowledge in a way you never have before. Your strength isn’t just emotional either, you’re athletic and capable. Once you get that weight off and you start working out, you won’t believe what you can do.

You don’t have to be so angry at yourself and the world. You don’t have to believe that voice in your head telling you that you’ll never be enough. You are more than enough and your love and kindness will touch people in ways you can’t imagine. You have a husband that loves you and pushes you to be better, and you’re going to have family and friends that make you feel overwhelmed with love and gratitude. Buckle up, girl. You have a lot of living to do, and guess what? You’re incredible. 

I can’t wait for you to figure that out.

Love,
Me

thebestone

 

 

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Introduction – February 7th, 2017

Vitamin Donuts Coaching Week One 1/1

Hey everyone!

I’m so happy you’re doing this with me. This is going to be quite the learning curve for me trying to make this as easy and effective for you as I possibly can. I’m always open to suggestions but I thought about the platform and thought this would be the easiest one.

My big plan here is to start off with Weekly Emails from me every Tuesday & Wednesday.
I’m going to write these on WordPress and send you guys the links so it’ll be easier for us to share & save as we go along.

After receiving the welcome emails from me – 
I would love for you to send an email at least every other day. This of course, is not mandatory! Only a suggestion so it gives me a chance to get to know you and your eating habits better so I can give you tips that are personal to your lifestyle! You don’t have to include weight or any information you’re uncomfortable with.

I just want to tell me what you eat in a normal day. Do you binge eat? Do you eat the same things all the time and you’re bored? Do you count calories? Do you have certain restrictions? These are the things I want you to include! Let me know if you’re doing any exercise and definitely share any recipes or steps you’re taking to a healthier lifestyle. I’m learning from you just as much as you’re learning from me.

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I, of course, will try to reply to all of these in a timely manner. If I’m going to be out of touch for more than 24 hours I will sell out an email and post on here that I will be unavailable. (Girl might need a vacation sometimes) –

Your emails you send to me are 100% private and I will never share your information or photos with anyone, unless you want me to!! (:

This is what you’ll be receiving from me: 
I’m not just going to tell you what to eat or when to eat it.
I want to show you that “diet” and suffering do not go hand in hand!
You can enjoy your life and eat healthy. Pizza and wine have their place!
I’ll also send out recipes that I’m making daily in my kitchen. All easy stuff!
I will ONLY give you advice on things that have personally worked for me, I’m not selling you anything. Everything I tell you is flexible, I want you to find YOUR way!
It’s just tips on mindful living, and eating!

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I’m hoping to give you some of the wisdom I’ve learned on my journey in the last few years. If you don’t know me well I encourage you to check out my pages below. I’ve lost 130lbs since 2013. I was suffering from anxiety, depression, and PTSD. I was binge eating to cope and I didn’t even know where to start on improving my life.
Through educating myself on nutrition, neuroscience, behavior psychology (specifically habits) exercise, and mindfulness. I found the balance I desperately needed. I’m the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been and I’d love to be able to share the wisdom and motivation I’ve gained with anyone who needs it.
Blog: http://www.thecheerfulchoice.com
Instagram: VitaminDonuts_
Tumblr: VitaminDonuts
Or my group on Facebook: Fight Chub

Let’s get started! I’ll be sending you these twice a week, I’d love check-ins from you, if you’re too busy, just read through these and hopefully I can help you out, even if it’s only a lil-bit!

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Stay Cheerful
Dev

The myth about moving forward

I don’t know if anyone else is like me, but when I start something new. I love starting with a bang. I’m going to completely overhaul my life and I’m going to make sure everyone is aware of my new journey. Whether that’s weight loss, cleaning, self-improvement, a new job, you name it. I’ve always been a huge fan of the “I’m gonna start Monday” camp. It’s like I’ve always assumed that I would just wake up on that day and be ready to tackle whatever goal I’ve laid out for myself.

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It took me a really long time to realize how
incredibly wrong and counter productive that was.

 

When you want to make a change in your life, it seems like a natural thing to do to have a starting point and an ending point. Isn’t that the point of every cleanse, retreat, diet, or program anyone starts? You have it in your mind that at the end of those 7 days, 30 days, or however long you’ve set, that you’ll be done. You have set your own finish line.

I’m here to tell you that after trying to force dozens of start points and falling off the wagon after many of my finish lines. I was tired of setting myself up to fail. 

One day, while browsing on my phone, like I usually do, I remember coming across an article about habits. I’d never really thought about habits before. I mean I knew there were good habits and bad habits but I didn’t realize how incredibly complicated the human brain is when it comes to setting up these natural points throughout our day.

I want you to think of something you do every day without fail. Do you check your phone when you wake up? Do you wash your hair twice every time your shower? How about your diet? If you have a cheeseburger at Mcdonalds – do you always get the fries with it? (I mean c’mon who wants a fruit cup with a Big Mac.)

I bet there are set behaviors you have that you don’t even notice!

I finally realized that in order to change my life, my way of thinking, my diet, and my relationships with other people. This was something I could not start and finish.

I realized I would have to take this one day a time,
one thought at a time, one meal at a time, one interaction at a time.

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Stop aiming for perfection. It’s ludicrous, harmful and frustrating. Stop telling yourself that tomorrow you’re going to wake up and suddenly not want those chocolate mini muffins for breakfast. I’m here to tell you after years of eating egg whites and oatmeal I STILL want chocolate for breakfast. The crazy thing is, guess what? Sometimes I do!

And that is perfectly okay.

If you’re planning on making a life change or you really want to push yourself to be better in a specific area. I want you to try something, I want you to try and change one simple habit. Maybe you constantly put your keys down and can’t find them? I want you to try to set a place for them and for 10 days. I want you to put your keys there every time. Maybe whenever you go out to eat you ALWAYS eat the bread or tortilla chips. I want you to ask the waiter not to bring them every single time the next 10 times you go out to eat.

You start slow and you move forward. You don’t give up when you fail and you let go of the mind set of “Well I messed up, may as well give up and restart tomorrow.” Stop trying to change overnight. Make incremental changes and after time has passed, you’ll realize the impact of what you are doing.

Whenever you look at your daily habits, your conversations, even your personal thoughts. Shouldn’t you be proud?

Being happy and kind is not something people are just good at.
It’s something they practice.

I was never successful at changing my habits until I started journaling. Now I write down not only what I eat, but my moods, thoughts, and goals. Every day I look back and I can see how I felt after I ate those 4 pieces of pizza or I can go back and experience my happiness when I was journaling after crushing a goal at the gym.

You have to practice being present and I think journaling is a great way to do that.

Our society tells people, both men and women that being selfless and sacrificing their needs and comforts for the needs of others make you a great human being. I’m here today challenging that and saying that they’re wrong.

Your personal well being, your thoughts, your wants, your disappointments, your grief, your happiness. All of that is yours. Unless you take care of yourself physically and mentally, what good are you to the people around you?

Be selfish. Make changes and don’t be hard on yourself when you fail. Push yourself to find out what you want in this life and how you’re going to get it.

Find your happiness in the face of constant disappointment. Make that choice.

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Stay Cheerful

Dev